i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
