Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize