3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
