I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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