I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
