Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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