i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
