I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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