yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i will never coherently bang her
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
