I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
