He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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