yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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