My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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