3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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