you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
