I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
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