Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
