Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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