You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
