college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
