thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
no you cant smoke seaweed
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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