would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
