Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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