I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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