is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
