I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
