A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
