Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
