it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
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She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
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Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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