Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Your topless pictures make me question reality
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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