Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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