Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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