Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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