I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
bring money and cleavage
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
