I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
