So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
i think i just naturally attract stoners
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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