i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
