Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
