do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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