There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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