I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
