i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
