turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
