dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
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They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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