dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Randomize
