it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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