Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
