is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
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giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize