I think i peed on brittanys purse
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
