we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
