we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
