that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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