WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
