you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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