I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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