Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
ok first of all what the fuck
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
