I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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