and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
