chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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