Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
