Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Randomize
