Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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