Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
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