i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
