I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
