i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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