thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
