I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
